Handshakes: Myth and fallacy: chapter 4
continued from last post...It has become the Gospel of the business World, this handshaking business. Every book on business you read, sooner or later, brings up this utterly false premise. As usual I am going to put this myth under the microscope and dissect it--piece by piece.
Myth no.1 A firm , strong handshake shows that you are a solid character...Poppycock, utter rubbish. If I was hanging by the skin of my teeth, over the edge of a building, I can see the advantage in having a steel grip type grab my hand and pull me to safety. However, before I let go, I would look up at the person who is offering this so called "grip of steel". If this angel of mercy looks like a Woody Allen clone, forget it....I will take my chances and keep hanging.
This "firm-handshake" psycho-babble, expounded by puny, chest-caved-in type nerds who have never done a lick of physical work in their entire lives has taken on a life of its own. It has embedded itself into the American psyche. Problem is, this has become the standard operating procedure for all business types around the World. Japanese companies pay a small fortune to have "business-trainer" come in and introduce the poor Japanese business-men into the art of "a firm handshake". They spend the whole day doing this idiotic action over and over under the watchful eye of the trainer. By the end of the day the poor Japanese trainee is utterly confused, has lost what little confidence he had to begin with. Now he is sent out into the business World with a diploma that says that he graduated with honors, from the American Hand Shaking Institute.
The Japanese company is out a few thousand dollars per trainee and the trainer is on his way to the bank.
Even women have gotten into this act! The very fabric of our society has been tainted with this curse. Nothing turns me off more than a petite little lady trying to squeeze my hand as hard as she can....
Myth no 2
Does a firm handshake indicate a strong personality? Answer NO.
Does a firm handshake indicate that you are dealing with a trust worthy character? Answer NO.
On the contrary, a fake, forced, contrite hand shake indicates a personality that is not to be trusted. Any man or a woman who can't even shake hands like a human being and has to resort to these praticed moves should put you on red alert.
Dissection 101:
I am sure most of you watch wild life shows on TV. Have you seen the reaction of a pack of wild dogs when the Alpha dog comes on the scene? All tails go down. The pack members (based on the pecking order) greet the leader. They get this look...this look of utter submission...and kind of curl up and pay homage to the leader. The best words to describe this look would be a "pathetic look".
Meanwhile the Alpha dog puffs up his chest, tail up in the air, that look in its eyes that says "one wrong move and I will rip you apart" and looks down at the grovelling pack member. Only when the pack leader takes his eye off the grovelling member can the groveller move....to be replaced by the next pack member.
